“If Only” -September 12th, 2022

If only,
Spills upon a world of regret,
That lives in what could have been,
As if what was had failed you,
How you failed yourself,
Not seeing what you can now.
If only,
Betrays gratitude for what you have learned,
As if always being correct is the only way to be,
As if perfection is who you must be,
To be accepted in this world.
If only,
Is the lie you tell yourself
About what you expected from yourself then, but can only see now.
If only,
Overlooks the gift of growth,
The Sacred passage of self reflection,
The silver lining in my short-sightedness,
The unseen treasures of hindsight.
If only,
Forgets who you were in favor of what you now innerstand,
And how much your love at the time could only be one thing more than another.
If only,
Keeps us too focused about how we fell short of the mark,
As if we could have been so much better, so much wiser,
When all we did was all we had to give.
If only,
Is the egos way of protecting us from what we must face now,
Abandoning us to endless self criticism,
Keeping us from accepting ourselves for who we are in any given moment.
If only,
Is a superiority complex,
An exaggerated sense of capability,
Mercilessly condemning us to self-doubt,
Where happiness is always around the next corner.
If only,
Is wishing I could have written these words better than I have,
If only…
Sept 12th, 2022